A Musician's Pride

Can things turn out better?...

Jasmine (EVCO), said one thing to me today, she said, "Why all emo post are always appearing at guys blog".. I replied, "No, this blog which i have (self-realization) dun really have so much emo thing"..

But its unlikely Emo stuff wont appear in this post, ...

Whoever with the right thinking will konw that it's always hungry people asking for food, however in this Annual Camp07 which i'm organising, it turns out to be the other way round..

Kind of unexpected behaviour, i was going around begging people to eat those food. I was extremly pleased and "touched" to see people like geneviene, daniel, eunice, taurus, heqiang, jamie and more, they were like stuffing themselves with food just to help me clear those stuff.. Thank you!..

However, when i heard words like "Raymond! wah lao! you ordered so much ar!", "Raymond! the food tasted so bad!", "Raymond, you didn't planned properly leh!".... blah blah and so on... The thing that struck into my mind was "hey, can't you open your big eyes and see or even calculate how many people is around?!!" it was so obvious they did'nt turn out and those were left overs right?! can't those people just have more EQ in their mind to appreciate the dinner got for them?! do they think i want it this way?!! Aren't i stress enough?!!!! to see so many people not attending!

If i am just those slacker or what so ever, would i still try to do a troublesome and effort wasting time planning a BBQ with Jiawen just to cheer and motivate the orchestra? i was hoping everyone would be cheerful and happy.. In the end i got nothing, and scoldings scoldings and complaints and critisism... I am really tired, but i still have to hang on for the three days just to make sure everything goes on fine... Just let those people organise a Camp and let them taste how i felt...

I. Raymond Chua, dun really have great experience in organising a camp, and now i am even trying to do an extra event BBQ just for the sake of hoping you all are happy.. do anyone know.. how difficult it is just to please every single one out there?? It's a challenge for me, as well as a burden for me... i can't help thinking why should i try to make everyone please when some dun appreciate..

I tried to ask people like sectional leaders to help, some really put in great deal of efforts to remind people to attend this camp.. however, some can just take their time.. there's alot of stuff i dun know so i cooperate with other people, dun wanna trouble alumni as they are busy.. in the end... Things don't really goes out well, however, things still goes out as planned.. but when i get the blames, who do i blame?.. i felt so lousy....

Can things turn out to be better?... i doubt so, almost some are so uncooperative, what can i do... i hate it, just hate it! i dun wanna do things for people anymore!!!!!!!!! every time tried to do things instead of a thank you.. i got other stuff to demoralise me... I should have just made my stand clear to be a member, or should have just ....., Chinese orchestra is my passion, i live with it, however, if i am demoralise or unhappy in some place.. .... i ..... can't help just thinking of it at times...

I am breaking soon, i have to worry about my stupid backbone problem, have to listen to people scolding me saying i am NOT MAN for not carrying heavy stuff, PLEASE GET IT CLEAR I AM JUST TRYING TO PROTECT MY BACKBONE, I CAN DO SIT UPS BUT NOT CARRY HEAVY STUFF BECAUSE IT WILL STRAIN MY BACKBONE MAKING IT PAINFUL! having to explain all this stupid reasoning of mine has made mi really tired....

The only limit to our realization of tomorrow will be our doubts of today. ``12/18/2007 11:19:00 PM